Intelligent Design - The really odd looking watch

William Paley's "Watchmaker" argument for intelligent design pops up constantly whenever the subject of religion arises. It's often invoked in more poetic ways, but the basic premise is what Paley proposed: "X" is complex and beautiful, it must have a designer.

It should hardly need to be noted that expressions of this sort tend to cause involuntary eye rolling and soft sighs of frustration. Most who have traveled this path with a true believer or two know that there is really no point in arguing - at some point you'll just have to give up, accepting the fact that you haven't moved their mind even one inch from its original position.

Foolishly, we keep trying. We hope that somehow we can find the words that will break through the ignorance. Experience may tell us that the hope is futile, but we try once again. What follows might be seen as just such an effort, set forth with hope and yet with foreknowledge of failure.

Actually, I'm off on a slightly different slant with another purpose in mind. I recognize that this won't change any minds and assure you that such is not my purpose.

Let's just go over the background, though.

Would you give this designer a job?

We do have the benefit of knowing much more about biology than poor Mr. Paley. It doesn't take much effort today to convince Google to spit out examples of how unintelligent the "design" of life often is. Wikipedia has a decent overview in their "Argument from poor design" piece and one of the most telling examples is to contrast the inferior eye "design" of invertebrates with that of cephalods.

Of course the true believers are unmoved by all that. It's either our defect in understanding (it had to be done that way even if sad little creatures like us are incapable of seeing why), part of the punishment for "original sin", or a cosmic joke designed to befuddle us. True believers always have an answer. Even those who accept evolution will find a way to bring "design" into play.

The Universe

For the more scientific theist, evolution and even the Big Bang Theory may be accepted. The designer is moved back to be a spinner of physics rather than a molder of worlds. These evolved theists won't concern themselves with the unfortunate design of a solar system that leaves dangerously large rocks around for a rapidly moving Earth to encounter, with disastrous results. Nor will they notice the unfortunate design of our own planet with its earthquakes, magma flows and super volcanoes. Extinction events happened, but not through fault of the Designer, as this marvelous and quite impossible creature was only responsible for the physics that drives it all.

We can wryly observe how cramped the corner these particular theists have painted themselves into really is, but they will stand there, arms drawn in, shoes pressed tightly together, glaring defiantly from the little bit of dry floor they have left themselves. This is the "Fine Tuned Universe" theory and it truly must be quite uncomfortable standing there.

Let's just leave them, though. Cornered animals are quite dangerous and I came here to talk about that watch.

The watch

When the "watchmaker" argument is deployed, a picture similar to that at the right is often shown or at least summoned to be imagined.

With absolutely no hope of changing anyone's mind - least of all the "wound it up" folks giving me nasty looks from their unpainted corner - I'd like to point out that this image is not what Mr. Paley would find on that beach.

The real watch, the watch of evolution, would be a confused hodgepodge. It would contain an unused hourglass, several burned out candles and a sundial that is no longer exposed to the sun. These strange parts would be misshapen now as they mostly have been repurposed to serve other functions. For example, we might still have a spring that drives the mechanism, but that spring is now wound by a battery powered motor and the stem that used to wind it now spins loosely as it is attached to nothing. It was attached for some time after the motor took over, but when it broke, nobody noticed.

That's the miraculous "watch" that Paley would have actually been looking at.

I know, it doesn't matter

I could have not bothered writing this for all the minds it will change. I know that. I just found myself amused by the thought of a watch that actually showed the history of its evolution when taken apart. I was even tempted to try to draw a sketch of what it might look like, but my drawing skills are insufficient for the task.

It would be a worthy project, however. At the very least, it would be amusing and, properly done, might even be quite instructive. Consider this as inspiration for someone with more skill.

Should you come up with something like this, I'd be happy to reproduce it here or link to wherever you'd like to put it. I hope somebody does take up the project!

If you are as challenged by sketching as I am, you can still help by suggesting other elements of "design" that Paley's watch might contain. Would it have the now silent trumpets that were part of early church clocks? Would pendulums swing impotently in some inner chamber or would they have been repurposed somehow? You might have a lot of fun with this.

Feel free to leave comments or links if you want to expound at length on this idea, but please don't bother with Creationist nonsense as I have no intention of cluttering this bit of whimsy with that.