Gifted and talented and suffering boredom

As I begin this post, I hesitate. Do I really want to write about this again? Did I not cover it well enough at my Wicked Smaht post? I didn't leave much out there. I described how as a child I was initially thought to be slow or slightly retarded and then suddenly elevated to a then nascent Gifted and Talented class. I talked honestly about how bored and angry I was and how my eventual success had little or nothing to do with raw intelligence.

What brought me back to this was an email from a former classmate reminding me that a memorial for our teacher, Clista Dow, is coming up in August. Her death was a total shock to all of us. A number of us had celebrated the 50th anniversary of our 1959 sixth grade class with her just last September. To hear of her death barely two months later was completely unexpected.

I am so grateful that Roberta Straus and Laura Yellen arranged that reunion. I had thought of Miss Dow (the name I will always associate with her) in the five decades since I was in her class, but had never thought to contact her. I wish that I had.

Clista told us about some of the politics that had surrounded that early class. Many were against separating us from the "normal" kids, and some teachers were jealous, thinking (incorrectly) that teaching gifted children was easier. Of course it is actually much harder, as challenging the very bright demands extreme creativity and constant vigilance.

I was able to speak privately to her also and learned that she had worried that I would end up as an unhappy adult. I was a dark and angry child, so that was not an unreasonable prognosis, but I was able to assure her that, while I did experience some difficulties, I was and am a happy person.

It is not unusual for high intelligence to be less of an asset and more of a liability. The phrase "too smart for their own good" carries more meaning than most who use it realize. The Outsiders paper details the reasons extensively and suggests that while being slightly bright creates success, being very bright makes that goal far more difficult to reach.

That's not generally well known. I can well remember how impressed one company was that I finished their "don't worry, nobody can finish this" IQ test (that's in the comments at the Wicked Smaht link). If he had known the truth about how maladjusted anyone who can breeze through those tests is likely to be, he wouldn't have called me.

The Gifted and Talented programs are not designed for the super bright. There aren't enough of them to fill a classroom, not enough to fill a row of seats in a class. But there is no better place to put them, so that is where they end up. I'm sure the teachers try their best as I know Clista Dow tried her best, but if they have any success, it's just blind luck. The super bright are very hard to teach.

I am a very uneducated person. That's not unusual among my high IQ peers; many of us are autodidacts. We don't learn what doesn't interest us. Because we tend to learn so much effortlessly, many of us never learn to make the effort necessary to master a subject; because our interests are so wide ranging, we have no time for that anyway.

Enough of that. I am a happy person. If I had my life to live over, I would avoid educational systems even more if I could. Why frustrate myself trying to pound a large square peg into a tiny round hole?

My concern is for the dark and angry children who may be daydreaming and suffering in classrooms today. I want to help them, but I am not sure how I can. What can I tell them? I would not presume to give them advice, except perhaps the same advice attributed to Socrates (and others): Know Thyself.

Learn about the super bright. Know the difficulties you will face. That Outsiders link is a great place to start. I never knew all that and not knowing made me feel even more disconnected from society. Knowledge is power, and knowing the dangers you may face could make your path easier.

Know this also: you can be happy. As I explained at that Wicked Smaht link, my happiness came from friends and family and had nothing to do with brain power. You CAN be happy even if you cannot succeed in the ways others may expect you to. Failure in the educational system does not always mean failure in life.

If you are the parent of a highly gifted child and have become aware that this gift can be a Pandora's box of trouble, I want to give you some hope too. Your child can succeed and can be happy and the more you know about their challenges, the more you can help. They don't have to find their own way as I did.

This subject is always hard for me to write about. It opens up old wounds, bringing back memories of deep anger and depression. I dislike hauling up those old feelings - they are foreign to me now and are unwelcome intruders. I do it in hopes of possibly helping someone else suffer less.

Some who read this will be baffled. I understand that. I know from past experience that others will be angered. I understand that also. My only concern is for those I might help. The rest can be baffled, puzzled, angered or confused. My real audience will understand. That's who I am writing for.

Related links:

Genius or Clueless, a Fine Line

Gifted Children: Free Online Survival Guide for Parents

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