Fear and confidence - taking the plunge to self employment

Fear is a useful emotion. It keeps us out of danger and prepares us for attack or running away. It can also cripple us. Confidence is useful too: it lets us step forward into the unknown. We need both.

When I look back over my life, I can find many examples of fear that I regret: opportunities not pursued, chances not taken, words unspoken. With the wonderful benefit of hind site, I can see that I shouldn't have been afraid, that I should have done those things or at least tried to. Of course, I'm older now - experience gives us wisdom.

Perhaps age also gives us the ability to admit fear. I don't mind at all admitting mistakes caused by my own internal fear. Mistakes are part of life, after all.

So is fear.  Anyone who says they never acted badly because of fear is probably lying or a fool. We all have our weaknesses. Some have more than others, but we all have them.

Drowning

I have had experiences where fear should have gripped me, but it did not. For example, I once nearly drowned as a child. Swimming under a raft at a lake, I came up for air and hit my head on the barrels of the raft. I went back down, swam farther and came up only to hit my head again. Obviously I was disoriented and was not where I thought I was. I was at the limits of holding my breath - if I couldn't get out from under the rafts, I was going to drown.

I wasn't afraid. I knew what my choices were: swim a bit more and hopefully come up to air, or drown. Only two choices. Air or water. My lungs could not hold on: I was going to involuntarily breath something in a very few seconds. Why was I not afraid?

Well, for one thing, there was no time for that. But also, fear served no useful purpose. Fear or panic could only cause me more trouble. I knew that. So I swam until the air started coming out by itself and then I went for the surface and was happy to break through to sunshine and air.

I thought of that when I read Frank Herbert's "Dune" years later: "Fear is the mind-killer."

I've been in several other situations where I thought death was imminent and I felt no fear. In all those, there was nothing I could do, so I just waited for the outcome. Obviously those turned out differently than my expectations.

I think there was no fear because I had either no choice at all or very simple choices. My brain was able to understand the situations fully. There was no reason for fear because there was no uncertainty. Die or not die. Simple.

Real Fear

Contrast that with the time I was approached by three teenagers who demanded that I give them money. I was very afraid. I believe that I felt fear because there were so many possibilities, so many courses of action. I could run, I could stand and fight, I could hand over my wallet. Each had its own set of possible outcomes: I might not be able to outrun them, they might hurt me even if I did give them money, fighting three people is risky even if they are smaller than you are. There were too many choices.

I chose to run. There was a well lit gas station not far away; I ran toward it, yelling loudly for help. The punks didn't follow. That wasn't very manly, perhaps, but I didn't feel badly about my choice. Today, not trusting my ability to run that fast, I might just pay them, but I still would feel fear.

Self Employment

I bring all this up in the context of self employment. When I first started my business, I really had no choice: I was earning too little money to survive at the job I then had. I might have looked for a better job, but that thought did not enter my mind: I had always wanted to work for myself and here was my opportunity.

What was the worst thing that could happen? I had no money already, I was living hand to mouth and there wasn't much in the hand when it got to the mouth. If self employment failed, I wouldn't be any worse off, because i was already at the bottom. There was nothing to fear.

Are you lucky?

Are you as lucky? That is, are you as desperate and beat down as I was? Do you understand why I call that "lucky"? It is because you would have nothing to be afraid of. If you have nothing or next to nothing, the only direction from there is up.

You say that you've lost your job, your house is about to be repossessed and benefits are running out? You've been trying to find another job but you are too old or too unskilled or there just are no jobs period? That's actually great, because it can't get much worse, can it? This is the ideal time to strike out on your own.

Everybody else who wants to start a business will feel fear in their belly. They will have to give up a "safe" job. Maybe it really isn't all that safe, but right then, at least, they still have it - it's a bird in the hand and it is hard to let go of that.

There are too many possibilities, too many unknowns, too much potential for error. Fear will freeze most people in the job they have now, even if they detest it, even if they are barely scraping by. They'll never break out because fear will paralyze them - doing ANYTHING might make things worse!

Overcoming Fear

Can you overcome that fear? Of course, but it's usually not easy and it's never fun. The best way is to understand your current situation as fully as you can. There will always be unknowns. Working for yourself carries a lot of frightening baggage with it and you can only dump some of that through research and planning. At the end, you have make a leap of faith, and that is always hard to do.

You can run back to the safety of the gas station. That could be the right choice.. You could fail at self employment. You could fail badly, and it could be more than just embarrassment. It could be a really bad mistake, like taking on three assailants.

I can't say what is right for you, but I can tell you that I am glad that I had no other reasonable choice. That made my decision to work for myself easy, and I have always been happy that it was.

Only Desperation

I realize that some may have come across this having never thought of self employment as an option. In today's horrible economy, you may be at the point of desperation, but you cannot imagine what you could do to earn a living on your own - a job, that elusive job, seems to be your only hope and there just are not any to be had.

This part is not for those who have a job and are thinking that they'd like to work for themselves "someday". This part is for people who are running out of options.

One thing I often hear is "I can't make a living doing THAT!" where "that" is anything from selling T-Shirts to writing on-line.   It's true: you may not be able to make enough money from one particular thing, especially when you are just starting out with it.

So you do two particular things.  Or six.  Or whatever it takes.

My income comes from three main sources and a few small things. By themselves, none of the three are enough. Taken together, they are.  If you can't think of one thing you could do to make some money, think of two or, again, whatever number it takes.

Over time, maybe you'll move more in one direction or another. Or maybe you'll add more things: diversification is always a good idea. 

So, sit down right now and start thinking about every silly thing you could do to earn money. Don't reject anything because you can't make a living at it. Only reject things that suck up too much time but do not deliver enough money.  Anything else is at least a possibility.

Start doing those things. Remember, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. In 1983, I was right where you are now.  I was near broke and borrowing money for gasoline so I could get to work. I'm a long way from that now and you can be too.

I wish you luck and welcome your questions and concerns.

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