Diamonds are just hard little rocks

If you think love is measured by the size and cut of shiny rocks set in a ring or studding a necklace, this is the wrong article to read.

I'm not knocking diamonds. If you like such things and have the money to indulge in a collection of expensive minerals, adorn yourself with as many as you can afford. Sport them on every finger, dangle them from your ears, even carry them in your pockets if you want. They can be pretty and supposedly can be a good investment (though I have my doubts about that).

At the end of the day, though, they are just a hard little rock. An expensive little rock that is easily counterfeited, easily lost and.. oh, never mind: as I said, if you think diamonds mean something, that's your business, not mine.

The picture at right shows a few things that I think are much more valuable than diamonds. None of them cost much, and you may think it's a bit odd that I'd call any of them romantic. Yet each of them really is.

Wake up and smell the coffee

The little bowl with the stained paper towel in it is how I sometimes wake up my wife when she'd really like to stay asleep but needs to get up for some appointment or whatever.

It's just a bit of my coffee poured onto a paper towel in a bowl. I quietly carry that into our bedroom and set it down on her night table. The smell of coffee wicks through the paper towel and ever so gently wakes her up.

She'll tell you that it's so much better than someone coming in and shaking her shoulder. Coffee drifts into her dreams and she follows it to consciousness. Try it - it's very nice.

Baby it's cold outside

The white thing under the cell phone is a heating pad. Two minutes in the microwave is all it takes to heat it up.

My wife suffers from arthritis and other joint related problems. She's always in pain, but cold weather makes it even worse. When she's been out on a raw winter day, I have that pad ready for her when she walks in the door.

It's hungry

My wife never remembers to charge her cell phone. I used to hear it plaintively beeping in her pocketbook, and I'd joke about it, saying 'You forgot to feed your kid again".

I stopped doing that. When I get up in the morning, I go looking for her phone. I check the battery status and if the poor thing needs food, I plug it in and charge it up for her.

Chocolate

Oh, sure, chocolate is always good. That's what those two little brown squares are to the right - two tiny pieces of 72% dark chocolate. We each eat two of those squares every day, and because she forgets, I make sure I put them out with her coffee in the morning.

Thoughtfulness beats diamonds

What's my point? Do you really need me to tell you?

Love isn't measured by diamonds or roses or wrapping up a new BMW in a giant bow on her birthday. It's measured by caring and little things.

Thoughtfulness is what matters. If I'm out with the car and know that it will need gas in a few days, I'll fill it up early so she won't have to. On cold nights, we run an electric bed warmer in our bed, but I also do more. While she's doing whatever it is women do in the bathroom for half an hour before they can get into bed, I climb into her side and let my body heat soak into her sheets and pillows. These are all little things, unimportant, almost insignificant but they matter because they come from caring.

Your significant other might not appreciate these particular things as much as my wife does. That doesn't matter, because there are other things he or she would care about. You should know what those things are and you should be doing them.

Or just spend a bunch of money

Yeah, that's easier, isn't it? No real thought required. Well, you have to pick out the gift.. is cash really all that gauche?

I suppose it probably is. Here are some pretty rocks from Amazon that you can trade a little money for. They are a bit pricier than paper towels or a heating pad, but the important thing is that doing this is easy for you.

Am I right? Diamonds are forever, they say, and a heating pad only lasts half an hour or so. A diamond will sparkle on your finger for years, but the taste of chocolate leaves your tongue in just minutes and a cell phone charge only lasts so long.

A warm bed is comfy, but diamonds are eternal. If I were you, I'd go with the diamonds.