How to to plan a surprise party that stays a surprise!

The first time I planned a surprise party for my wife, it was nearly a disaster. The occasion was her 40th birthday. I secretly arranged for friends and family to meet at one of her favorite restaurants several weeks ahead of the real day. I thought I could more easily fool her that way; she'd be suspicious if I tried to get her out on her actual birthday.

On the week before the planned day, I suggested we go out for dinner on Saturday. She agreed and I mentally rubbed my hands and stroked an imaginary mustache. The mouse was walking right into my trap.

On Saturday afternoon, she informed me that she was tired. Could we skip dinner out?

Aargh! I had a whole pile of people coming, some of whom were probably already in their cars and traveling. No, no, she can't be tired!

I had to beg. I told her I had really been looking forward to this all week. Please, please, could we go?

She relented. Except..

Not that restaurant. She was tired of that, wanted to go somewhere new. The dastardly villain in my head was panicking - Nell must be tied to the right tracks! Um, I mean we had to go to the restaurant where everyone else would be waiting. Aargh! Double aargh!

More begging. I really love their Chicken Marsala. I did not, but she didn't contest that. Please? Please?? She sighed and got her coat,

The rest went well. She was completely surprised, we all had a great time. It cost me a boat load of money because my brother-in-law at the far end of the table ordered multiple bottles of very expensive wine, but it was worth it.

Recently the children of one of our friends almost had a similar disaster. Same deal, one them wanted to take her and Dad to brunch where we all were waiting. He should have checked to see if the place served brunch at all; they do not and Mom knew that, so naturally she wanted to go somewhere else. Oops. If you are taking me for brunch, let's go somewhere that actually serves it, right?

He only got out if it with a half truth: he said her daughter was waiting at the no-brunch restaurant with her new baby twins as a surprise. He just didn't mention the other fifty people. Good thing he thought of that because without that, Mom was going somewhere else! Mom was surprised, we all had a great time, but her husband (who knew the whole plan) was still clutching his head from the stress.

So - surprise parties can fall apart all too easily. There is a solution, though.

Next time you want to surprise someone, tell them that they are invited to a surprise party for someone close to them. Make it someone they simply have to show up for; no being tired. They can't complain about the restaurant or wherever you are having it and if they catch wind of a party, no problem. If they notice two hundred cars as you drive up, they still will have no clue.

They absolutely won't suspect a thing until you all shout "SURPRISE!".

Doing it this way takes away a lot if potential problems, doesn't it? Well, unless you find out that her best friend really isn't and she doesn't want to go. Better to pick a family member - you can dislike a relative pretty intensely and still feel obligated to show up.

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